From here, it’s clear that I can do anything. I may have begun the journey with doubt and fear. I may have cursed the sun for lighting my way so brightly. I may have imagined a hundred escape routes. But I put one foot in front of the other until I made it to the top. And I’ll do it again tomorrow.
The flight home from UT was ok. A little painful on the leg, but not so much that I couldn’t handle it. Monday was when it was the worst. My leg was swollen again from the travel and every time I had to stand up, which wasn’t often, it felt like gravity was pulling my muscle off of my bone – horrible. Tuesday was better and I was able to get in to see Dr. Melvin Manning at TX Sports Medicine. He confirmed that I had torn my right calf muscle (gastrocnemius). Its approx 6 inches in length and 3 inches in width according to the ultra sound, but no blood clots were found (Thank you Jesus) and I was given a very attractive and heavy boot to immobilize the muscle and to wear for the next several weeks. I am on crutches with the boot this week, then next week just the boot. I go back to see him on 12/01. I don’t know exactly how long I will be in the boot at this time, but it could be anywhere from 4 weeks – 4 months depending on the muscle and my ability to heal. Let’s all pray for a speedy recovery as I will be walking down the isle in 4 months.
So now that I’ve been home a few days and I’ve been able to go over my notes from the lectures at FR and reflect on my time there. I’m finding that I truly am forever changed by this whole experience, and not just because of my leg. I really am looking at food and exercise very, very differently. One of the things that they really drove home at the resort is that you have to have 4 key components working within yourself before you will see long term, quality results. Proper Fitness + Proper Nutrition + Proper Education about nutrition and fitness + Proper Rest, Relaxation and Emotional Health = Healthy Weight Loss. While the level of intensity will be different for each person in each of these areas, it still takes YOU working all 4 of these elements to achieve your fitness/health goals. We can all lose weight by eating better, but imagine how much better your body will feel if while not only eating well, you were also exercising and strengthening your heart and muscles. Add to that relaxation and you’d feel even better and top it off with a big ole’ helping of mental/emotional wellness – WHOOOOO BABY!!! You become one happy, healthy (not to mention FABULOUS looking) machine!!! It all seems so simple right? Why do we make it hard on ourselves? Why can we find time for everyone else in our lives, but not make time for what WE need? Or why do we feed into those things we DON’T need instead of doing those things that we KNOW we should? Because we are ALWAYS looking for the quick fix and the easy way out and I’m here to tell you when it comes to your weight and your health there are NO quick fixes nor is there an easy way out. Once I finally let that seep through my thick skull I found that what you perceive as difficult just might now be as difficult as you think.
One of my personal goals is to be the healthiest, happiest 150-160 lb person I can possibly be. (I’m almost half way there too! As of 11/14/2010 I’m down 60 lbs! Awesome!!!) The first time I wrote that goal down I was terrified. How was I going to get from my “ugly number” (ugly number = my heaviest weight of _______. Sorry…not going to disclose that just yet) to what seemed like an impossible weight of 160 lbs? Writing down my heaviest weight minus my goal weight of meant that I had a lot of weight to lose and I wasn’t sure how I was going lose it. More than that, I was completely disappointed in myself for being so lazy and not caring – not caring about myself so much that I allowed myself to balloon up to what is now the “ugly number.” I lied to myself A LOT too! “That # doesn’t matter…” “If God wanted me any different he would made me differently…” “Maybe I’m not meant to be skinny (the real lie there is that it doesn’t matter how skinny you are it only matters how healthy you are! You can be skinny and completely unhealthy!) These last 2 are my favorites – I hide behind them many, many times. “Just because it happened to my Mom doesn’t mean that it will happen to me….” “It’s hereditary, there’s nothing I can do about it…” The lies I told myself went on and on. I lied to myself because it was easier than facing the truth and the truth was painful. The truth was I was being lazy and complacent about my life and you could see it all over my fat, unhealthy body. The first time I wrote that “ugly number” down was on February 7, 2010. That was the day my journey started and the day that changed my life (The day of the BL 5K). Fast forward 9 months and 10 days and I’m no longer afraid of the truth or what might happen to me on the way to my goal. I know now that facing my fear was the 2nd greatest thing I could do for myself. Had I continue to live in that fear of what I “thought” I couldn’t do or couldn’t control I would not be living in the “I can” moment of right now. What was the 1st greatest thing I could ever do for myself? Love myself. Love myself enough to forgive myself of my past and love myself enough to move on and begin working towards a greater, better, healthier future for myself.
I am no where near my weight goal, but I’m getting closer every single day with every single choice I make. And I’m also learning you have to be a little bit selfish if you are serious about achieving your goals. Only you can make it happen for yourself and you ARE STRONG enough to do it. I am strong enough to do it.
What are your health and/or wellness goals? Have you ever really thought about it? Do you even have a goal in mind at all? Once you have a goal in mind whatever it is, even if it’s not to lose weight – WRITE IT DOWN!!! That is the beginning of accountability to you. Don’t be afraid, we all start somewhere and today might as well be your day to start working towards your goal
**side note: In the photo I am standing on the lookout over Snow Canyon State Park in UT. Specifically overlooking the Stop Sign Trail and the Hidden Pinyon Trail. I had hiked almost that whole landscape over the past several days and had completed Hidden Pinyon just that morning. While at the look out taking pictures my friend Lisa said to me, “Look Deb, can you believe we did that? We hiked over all of that!” It felt completely overwhelming, amazing and AWESOME to look out and see that I had climbed those rocks, maneuvered through those trails and did something that I would have never ever thought I could do. I am strong and I now know there’s almost NOTHING I can’t do! (I said almost – thanks to my leg, I’m learning my limits) And I WILL hike those trails again someday!!! The “Red Rocks” will not defeat me! :o)
The flight home from UT was ok. A little painful on the leg, but not so much that I couldn’t handle it. Monday was when it was the worst. My leg was swollen again from the travel and every time I had to stand up, which wasn’t often, it felt like gravity was pulling my muscle off of my bone – horrible. Tuesday was better and I was able to get in to see Dr. Melvin Manning at TX Sports Medicine. He confirmed that I had torn my right calf muscle (gastrocnemius). Its approx 6 inches in length and 3 inches in width according to the ultra sound, but no blood clots were found (Thank you Jesus) and I was given a very attractive and heavy boot to immobilize the muscle and to wear for the next several weeks. I am on crutches with the boot this week, then next week just the boot. I go back to see him on 12/01. I don’t know exactly how long I will be in the boot at this time, but it could be anywhere from 4 weeks – 4 months depending on the muscle and my ability to heal. Let’s all pray for a speedy recovery as I will be walking down the isle in 4 months.
So now that I’ve been home a few days and I’ve been able to go over my notes from the lectures at FR and reflect on my time there. I’m finding that I truly am forever changed by this whole experience, and not just because of my leg. I really am looking at food and exercise very, very differently. One of the things that they really drove home at the resort is that you have to have 4 key components working within yourself before you will see long term, quality results. Proper Fitness + Proper Nutrition + Proper Education about nutrition and fitness + Proper Rest, Relaxation and Emotional Health = Healthy Weight Loss. While the level of intensity will be different for each person in each of these areas, it still takes YOU working all 4 of these elements to achieve your fitness/health goals. We can all lose weight by eating better, but imagine how much better your body will feel if while not only eating well, you were also exercising and strengthening your heart and muscles. Add to that relaxation and you’d feel even better and top it off with a big ole’ helping of mental/emotional wellness – WHOOOOO BABY!!! You become one happy, healthy (not to mention FABULOUS looking) machine!!! It all seems so simple right? Why do we make it hard on ourselves? Why can we find time for everyone else in our lives, but not make time for what WE need? Or why do we feed into those things we DON’T need instead of doing those things that we KNOW we should? Because we are ALWAYS looking for the quick fix and the easy way out and I’m here to tell you when it comes to your weight and your health there are NO quick fixes nor is there an easy way out. Once I finally let that seep through my thick skull I found that what you perceive as difficult just might now be as difficult as you think.
One of my personal goals is to be the healthiest, happiest 150-160 lb person I can possibly be. (I’m almost half way there too! As of 11/14/2010 I’m down 60 lbs! Awesome!!!) The first time I wrote that goal down I was terrified. How was I going to get from my “ugly number” (ugly number = my heaviest weight of _______. Sorry…not going to disclose that just yet) to what seemed like an impossible weight of 160 lbs? Writing down my heaviest weight minus my goal weight of meant that I had a lot of weight to lose and I wasn’t sure how I was going lose it. More than that, I was completely disappointed in myself for being so lazy and not caring – not caring about myself so much that I allowed myself to balloon up to what is now the “ugly number.” I lied to myself A LOT too! “That # doesn’t matter…” “If God wanted me any different he would made me differently…” “Maybe I’m not meant to be skinny (the real lie there is that it doesn’t matter how skinny you are it only matters how healthy you are! You can be skinny and completely unhealthy!) These last 2 are my favorites – I hide behind them many, many times. “Just because it happened to my Mom doesn’t mean that it will happen to me….” “It’s hereditary, there’s nothing I can do about it…” The lies I told myself went on and on. I lied to myself because it was easier than facing the truth and the truth was painful. The truth was I was being lazy and complacent about my life and you could see it all over my fat, unhealthy body. The first time I wrote that “ugly number” down was on February 7, 2010. That was the day my journey started and the day that changed my life (The day of the BL 5K). Fast forward 9 months and 10 days and I’m no longer afraid of the truth or what might happen to me on the way to my goal. I know now that facing my fear was the 2nd greatest thing I could do for myself. Had I continue to live in that fear of what I “thought” I couldn’t do or couldn’t control I would not be living in the “I can” moment of right now. What was the 1st greatest thing I could ever do for myself? Love myself. Love myself enough to forgive myself of my past and love myself enough to move on and begin working towards a greater, better, healthier future for myself.
I am no where near my weight goal, but I’m getting closer every single day with every single choice I make. And I’m also learning you have to be a little bit selfish if you are serious about achieving your goals. Only you can make it happen for yourself and you ARE STRONG enough to do it. I am strong enough to do it.
What are your health and/or wellness goals? Have you ever really thought about it? Do you even have a goal in mind at all? Once you have a goal in mind whatever it is, even if it’s not to lose weight – WRITE IT DOWN!!! That is the beginning of accountability to you. Don’t be afraid, we all start somewhere and today might as well be your day to start working towards your goal
**side note: In the photo I am standing on the lookout over Snow Canyon State Park in UT. Specifically overlooking the Stop Sign Trail and the Hidden Pinyon Trail. I had hiked almost that whole landscape over the past several days and had completed Hidden Pinyon just that morning. While at the look out taking pictures my friend Lisa said to me, “Look Deb, can you believe we did that? We hiked over all of that!” It felt completely overwhelming, amazing and AWESOME to look out and see that I had climbed those rocks, maneuvered through those trails and did something that I would have never ever thought I could do. I am strong and I now know there’s almost NOTHING I can’t do! (I said almost – thanks to my leg, I’m learning my limits) And I WILL hike those trails again someday!!! The “Red Rocks” will not defeat me! :o)
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