Rabbit trails and winding paths

It's been awhile since I've posted a blog... I seem to be so busy lately, but in the best of ways. I'm currently down 45 lbs with only 5 more to go to make it a huge milestone of 50 lbs lost. I'm so close and am so excited yet know I have so much more to lose and so much more yet to accomplish. I still struggle with balance everyday. Keeping focused about working out and eating properly has been a huge challenge the last couple of weeks. I'm scattered and unfocused and can't get into a good daily rhythm. I know exactly what I need to do yet I struggle daily with doing it. Making the right choices is very easy to say yet sometimes so much harder to do. Carbs continue to be my biggest enemy yet something I crave the most. Just yesterday I went through all my cabinets and took out anything and everything that was a carb or a bread. Regardless of how "healthy" or "low-fat" or "only 100 calories" it might be it is still my enemy and keeping me from destiny and from my health. I did take a physical through work and found that my blood pressure was excellent 119/78 and my fasting blood sugar level was 103. My HDL and LDL cholesterol were both very good, but my triglycerides were still high. All of this made me feel really good until I got to the section that said my BMI was still like 40. That's considered obease - that was so disheartening. Almost 50 lbs and I'm still obease. Sigh - just got to keep on...
Sometimes I catch glances of myself in the mirror and I say "who's that skinny girl?" Other times I just move away from the mirror as quickly as possible because I still see that "fat girl" I've been my whole life.
Regardless of my "unbalanced" moments God is still so good and is giving me the strength and the motivation to keep pressing on towards my goal of being skinny and healthy. All I can do is give 100% of myself to my goals everyday. Continue to make my health and weightloss my #1 priority and not let myself get lost on rabbit trails and winding paths for very long. ;oD

YOU can CHOOSE to quit, YOU can CHOOSE to be less than what you are and less than what God intended but don't ever tell me "YOU CAN'T!" ~ Jillian Mich

The past couple of weeks have been a bit of a challenge. While I haven't completely fallen off the "wagon" or slid back into old habits, I certainly have been dragging my feet. When I weighed yesterday I hadn't gained, but I hadn't lost any either. I felt very lazy and discouraged and I really didn't understand why. When I look in the mirror I can see how much I've accomplished. When I put on my clothes I can CERTAINLY tell that weight is being lost - my body is completely changing and for the better. I'm proud to say that when I began this journey in January (and this is hard to type or share, it's hard to admit that I had let myself get so big - anyway) I was wearing a women's plus size 24 pants and a women's plus size 22 shirt. As of today I'm wearing a women's size 18/20 pant and women's 14/16 shirt. I've even been able to buy a couple of shirts that were misses size or normal or not plus sizes. I'm down 11 inches over my entire body. It feels completely AMAZING!!! So why this little funk??? I'm not sure - I'm really now. For whatever reason I haven't felt the excitement and dedication. I only worked out once this week and it really wasn't a workout that Jillian or Bob would be proud of. SO...what to do??? How do you refocus, recommit and get rejuvenated. I started talking to the "Program" aka Eric, my cousin who's been my biggest encourager and who himself is committed to health and fitness for his family. After some re-evaluation of my habits and heart with him and re-watching the Biggest Loser Episode of the Dallas 5K I was able to see where I was slacking and lacking. My BFF Christy, who is also my biggest cheerleader and champion reminded me of what Sunshine said to me during the 5K, "Whenever you get discouraged remember how you feel in this very moment. Remember how awesome this day feels...." And that's exactly what I've been doing the last couple of days. Revisiting that day and those feelings and remembering that each and every day it is a CHOICE to do this. This change will not come just because I want it to. My goals will not be met and I will not succeed just because I would like to see them someday. Each day I have to choose to make myself, my health and my goals a priority. I even looked up the word "choose." To choose is to select freely after consideration. Which completely sums it up for me. Each and everyday it's a choice and only I can make it. Good or bad, right or wrong, only I can make the choice and so with new commitment to myself and my goals I choose ME. I choose my health and to love myself enough to work towards my goals. Yesterday I bought a new food/exercise journal that I plan to carry with me all the time along with my BL calorie counter book and I will write down every single bite of food I put into my mouth. I will also track every step I take and record every bit of exercise I do each and every day. I will be totally and brutally honest in this book and will weekly give it to Christy for critiquing. She will be my accountability partner. I will also make my workouts a priority. I will schedule them into my day and week and no matter what happens, no matter the time of day I WILL go workout. I choose to make my diet and my exercise a priority. I know that I will make mistakes and I will have days that are much, much more difficult than others, but I CHOOSE this. I CHOOSE ME - A HEALTHY, HAPPY ME!

Above is a recent picture :) Despite the lull or small set back I can't deny that my body is changing and what I am doing it changing it all for the better.

LOVE for 5K

5K. 3.1 miles. In some ways it sounds a significant distance, but it other ways its not very far at all. When I first started training for a 5K back in Oct/Nov of last year it seemed like such a long distance especially since I was about 40 lbs heavier than I am today. Now, here I am 4 - 5K's later and I can't wait to do another one. In fact I'm ready to up my distance and try for a 10K. I would like to work my way up to a 1/2 marathon this year. Saything that today sounds like such a stretch. It sounds like something impossible for my current body to do. I have to keep reminding myself that in Feb I didn't think I could do a 5K, but I did. I walked it. Then in March I did one with my friend Whitney and was able to jog a little bit. Then another one in April with my Aunt where I jogged even more. Sometimes I feel like I have so far to go, but then I think of what I already done. Don't ever think you "can't" do something. Never say "can't" until you at least try. Someday I will be able to run an entire 5K. Someday I will be able to do a 1/2 or full marathon. But I know that to reach that goal and to make any of that happen I have to keep trying. I have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep on moving. Each step I take helps me lose the weight and makes it easier to jog. Each jog I take is moving me towards a run and one day I will run. One day I it be easy to run. I will be thinner and healthier and I will run. :) I can't wait!!!

Good Workout/Bad Workout

Yesterday I participated in my first Spin class - brutal! It was a definitely one of the toughest workouts I've had to date. It was really hard and a couple of times I felt like stopping, but I wouldn't let myself quit moving. Once I had finished I really did feel a since of accomplishment. I may have not done quite as well as some of the others in the class, but for me I had done my very best and it felt great! Today my legs and booty are CRAZY sore. I went to the gym this morning feeling my usual motivation. Ready to hop on the elliptical for my hour of cardio then onto some weights. Well...not so much. I did hop on the elliptical and cranked up my tunes and got started. No surprise I was feeling every step with the soreness of yesterdays workout. I struggled through 15 minutes then decided I would do some weights then finish my cardio after. I was really beginning to hurt so I decided not to work my lower body. So I worked my upper body, chest, arms, abs...etc, but I just really wasn't feeling it. SO, I thought I would scrap it for now and do some evening Yoga later. I was on my way out of the gym when I spotted 2 new cardio machines that a girl in spin class was telling me about yesterday. New Precore cardio machines that on the sides kinda look like a pump-jack. I decide not to give up just yet and go try out the new machines. I hop on but I couldn't get it to start. I keep trying and FINALLY the switchboard lights up and I can begin my workout. Its some sort of step climbing/running machine. I get a good rhythm going with a comfortable intensity and set the timer for 30 min. I made it about 15 minutes before I felt like I was going to pass out from climbing/running. I stopped got off the machine and came home. So now, here I am...home...feeling sore. :) It certainly wasn't one of my best workouts, but I'm glad I went. That's the attitude I have to keep to succeed on the weight loss journey and what I have to remember all day every day, no matter how much it hurts, regardless of when or how your stumble along the way, pick yourself up and NEVER, EVER, EVER GIVE UP! Don't give up on your journey and NEVER give up on yourself.

Struggling

Sorry it's been so long since I posted anything. Life has been pretty busy lately and I have been struggling. Struggling with the diet at times and definitely struggling with work outs. At first I had a pretty good attitude and just kept on trying and not beating myself up too much for missing a workout or splurging a little here and there and honestly didn't think much of it. Then more and more time kept creeping in between workouts so I started whining about it to my friends and started getting really discouraged. Work has become a huge hurdle in my work out routines. At first I tried to work out at 5 AM each morning, yea that didn't work out so good. Then I tried going straight to the gym right after work which typically is a great work out time for me, but here's where work began throwing me a hurdle, my schedule has changed a little and instead on closing one night a week I now close 3 sometimes 4 nights a week. This is a problem because not only do I not leave until 6:30 most days but I have a 40 + minute drive home from work. By the time I get home I'm so pooped and hungry I don't make it to the gym. SO - wah wah wah, blah blah blah. Fast forward to today. I was thinking about how all this junk I've been griping about is just life. There is always going to be something that is going to keep me from going to the gym or tempting me to blow my diet. The BIG question is "WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?" After a lot of great counsel from my friends and watching last night's Biggest Loser I have decided that I'm going to consciously make "the choice" 24/7! It is up to me and me only to reach my goals and keep me on track. I'm going to talk to my manager and ask if we can rearrange my schedule some so that I can commit to working out twice during the week and also work out on both Saturday and Sunday. I'm going to keep motivators and reminders of how far I've already come on this journey all around me and how far I still have to go and how the gap between them is shrinking daily. I will choose to celebrate the small victories as well as the big ones (and not with ice cream) God has been so good to me and he continues to bless me each and every day. Each and everyday I have a choice. A choice to follow God and a choice to make myself and my health a priority. "How bad do you want it Deb?" "Are you willing to make the right choices and the sacrifices it will take to achieve your goal?" The answer...YES! I love myself enough to do just that. So that's what I'm going to do. Now the question is, What are you going to do about it for yourself? :)

Biggest Loser Episode

Awesome, Awesome, Awesome! That doesn't even really begin to describe how I felt when the BL 5K episode filmed here in Dallas finally aired. It was so surreal to see myself on the big screen, but at the same time it was so much fun. I am completely honored and flattered that they put so much of "my story" in the episode. My friends and family were there to support me and watch with me. It was so wonderful to have them all there with me. Thank you guys so much - I love you all very much!!! My best friend Christy even had a sign made for me. I love my sign - I've already hung it up in my apartment - what an awesome reminder that I'm loved and have such an awesome support group to cheer me along on my journey. Seeing the episode made me excited and motivated all over again. As of Tuesday (4/27/10) I'm down 34 lbs and 11.5 inches. Accomplishing that makes me want to lose the next 30 lbs! And as if all the wonderful words of encouragement and support weren't enough to keep me on this amazing high I received a message on facebook today from a woman I don't even know in Minnesota telling me that my story inspired her. Wow - I was so flattered and excited. My ultimate goal is to lose the weight, but even more than that I want my journey to inspire others and encourage them to be healthy and happy and feel as amazing as I do. And by the Grace of God I believe that is beginning to happen. Praise God - to HIM be all the glory. God is so good!













I haven't talked to O'Neal since that day, but I really hope he knows what an awesome inspiration he is to me and how that little bit of time I spent with him that day changed me forever and set in motion this awesome journey that I am on.
I love you O'Neal - Thank you!

I heart the elliptical!

Got up early this morning and went to the gym and had an AWESOME workout. I have to say that my favorite part of my workouts are on the elliptical. On this machine I work my entire body from my arms down to my legs. I'm able to focus on my breathing and my posture while keeping a steady pace. I have found that my core balance is strong enough now that I can even close my eyes and not lose any balance at all. Tummy held in, glutes taught and breathing in my nose and out my mouth at a very steady pace. I love it! The best part is that because I am (and I say this with the most pride and love within me)an eternal band geek my feet are ever in step with whatever beat is pumping through my head. Today I really amped up my workout by increasing the incline and the resistance to make it harder for me to keep time with the beats of whatever song I was listening to. It was AWESOME!! What a great sweat!!! (LOL - never thought that I would enjoy being sweaty and gross) Probably the best cardio session I've had. OH, but don't think I stopped there today - no, no, I added a 4th set to all my reps on the machines and even added some extra weight. I really, really feel good today - healthy and strong - RAWRRRRR! :)

Today - do something out of your norm. Something that makes you feel strong and proud of yourself.